Where do we go when everything seems shit out of luck? Maybe we don’t have to “go” anywhere. Maybe we just have to accept everything as it is now. So we don’t have a job or a college degree or something reputable to hold up our self-image. Oh well. What kind of progress would we make if we cared so much about what other people think? At the end of the day, we all have to deal with ourselves, no one else. We’re allowed to feel sorry for ourselves, sure. But we can’t wallow in it forever. One day, one moment we have to wake up and make a decision. Suppose we get real quiet and focused within, we’ve analyzed everything that has occurred in the past that led up to this very moment…
“What shall I do now?”
After the crying, the contemplation, the restless nights, the anger…
We ask ourselves, what now?
Maybe the next course of action is very simple. So simple yet there’s still some resistance.
“After everything I’ve been through, am I worthy of going on? How could I ever muster up the courage? All the struggle, not feeling good enough, not feeling heard or understood, the criticism… How could I?”
Go further into the self-pity and suddenly it turns into: “What’s the point?”
So maybe we procrastinate a little just to see how far it could go. We’re allowed to have fun. So we watch television, numb ourselves to music, make unnecessary purchases. Practically anything but confront the elephant in the room. But then that nagging feeling pops up again. We can’t ignore it. Something within us is asking, begging for us to look at it.
Perhaps we haven’t uncovered everything yet. Perhaps we have to look again into what’s keeping us stuck. If we’re still looking at the past with feelings of pain and struggle, maybe we’re still missing the point. Typical logic would assume that we’d pick up the lesson by now and move on. But it takes time to learn a lesson, and to truly learn a lesson we have got to learn it correctly.
So be patient with yourself. Especially when everything seems like a dead end. There’s a gift in each day, each moment if we just look carefully. We may not be in the place we want to be, but we’re here anyway. Might as well deal with it.