Tag Archives: introspection

Quaint Libraries and a Poem of the Day

Recently, I’ve been drawn to the wonders of a little place called the library. A bit over a week ago, I made an emergency family visit back home in the Bay Area. When not attending to family duties, I spent my downtime at several libraries around the neighborhood. A newfound appreciation for them lifted me up as I spent several hours surrounded by shelves of organized books.

There is something so quaint about the library. And given to this new age of constant media overload, it was such a relief to stay away for a while from all that noise.

While there, I waddled about and found all kinds of books that were of interest to me. Walt Whitman, T.S. Elliot and Pablo Neruda. I sauntered back to my table flooded with books in my arms.

It was a refreshing kind of fun that YouTube videos, video games, or socializing could never compare.

You see, when you discover the spark that urges you to go at any length to pursue, any past time indulgence could never suffice!

So here is a little poem I’ve been reflecting on. It is from “Random House Treasury of Friendship Poems” edited by Patricia S. Klein.

Take Care of Yer Friends

Friend is a word that I don’t throw around

Though it’s used and abused, I still like the sound.

I save it for people who’ve done right by me

And I know I can count on if ever need be.

Some of my friends drive big limousines

Own ranches and banks and visit with the queens.

And some of my friends are up to the neck

In overdue notes and can’t write a check.

They’re singers or rompers or writers of prose

And others, God bless’em, can’t blow their own nose!

I guess bein’ friends don’t have nothin’ to do

With talent or money or knowin’ who’s who.

It’s a comf’terbul feelin’ when you don’t have to care

‘Bout choosin’ your words or bein’ quite fair

‘Cause friends’ll just listen and let go on by

Those words you don’t mean and not bat an eye.

It makes a friend happy to see your success.

They’re proud of yer good side and forgive all the rest

And that ain’t so easy, all of the time

Sometimes I get crazy and seem to go blind!

Yer friends just might have to take you on home

Or remind you sometime that you’re not alone.

Or ever so gently pull you back to the ground

When you think you can fly with no one around.

A hug or a shake, whichever seems right

Is the high point of givin’, I’ll tellya tonight,

All worldly riches and tributes of men

Can’t hold a candle to the worth of a friend.

—Baxter Black

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Home

Home feels like

A quiet Sunday morning

The concrete after a rainy day

The hope in your heart

When opportunity strikes you

And nothing ever feels quite the same

It is the essence of Life

The very substrate!

It is the soft under belly

Of the old stray

Who gazes at you

And strides your way

Her very presence

Blessing upon your day

Home is a sort of melting

A softening of the heart

Something you keep within you

Even when your world falls apart

Home is the mountain

You climb to the tippy top

The cry of victory

The sweetness of success!

Home is a place

A feeling

A state

Home is always one call away

When the body is weary and tired of what seems like an endless search

Home beckons forth

When you need it most

What Crying Taught Me

Have you ever had an overwhelming urge to cry only to hold it in because of X, Y and Z? I have and it seems like all that holding in of my emotions finally caught up to me. When I finally had nothing else to do, nothing I was obligated to, nothing I could distract myself with, I sensed this huge burden. And the only thing to do in that very moment was cry. And so I did. I must have cried so much in my lifetime actually, but this one was different. It was different because it was much more intense and the more I cried, the more I realized I needed to cry. For my own sanity, for myself…

It wasn’t an ordinary cry. It was fall-down-on-your-knees and beg for mercy type of cry. The absolute grief resting on my conscience was coming to the surface. The feeling of being unworthy… I was what you may call, sobbing. The energy of it was so powerful it couldn’t be ignored. I had to cry and something about it was incredibly liberating. After all the occasions where I’d brush my emotions to the side, it was finally coming up to be healed.

So now I write to you today to show you that crying is okay. It’s normal and it’s one of the most human things to do! If you don’t cry and keep it all bottled in, you end up stifling yourself in the end. There is nothing shameful about crying. It doesn’t mean that you are weak, it means that you are human. And it’s okay to embrace our human-ness.

Towards the end of my sobbing, I had come to the realization that I never fully grieved my father’s death. I was only 7 when he passed away, so I had no idea how to comprehend it. I also realized I had a huge sense of unworthiness towards myself, to God and to everyone in my life.

That feeling of unworthiness is so ingrained in a lot of us. Either we side with it and make self-deprecating jokes about it, or we overvalue ourselves and try to compensate for it by material possessions or other superficial ways.

Why do we do this? Why can’t we just be content and grateful for who we are as humans? Flaws and all, we aren’t perfect! And that’s okay. It’s important to be kind to ourselves and in return, remember what is real. Nothing from our external world can give us this. Only we can. And it only begins with a simple decision.

Are you willing to be kind to yourself?

🙂

Silence and Sound

Lightheartedness seems the way to go

One minute I’m here,

the next second I’m gone

Drifting in and out

Of two different worlds

Listening to Silence and sound

Have me bouncing around

I’m not sure what comes next

What is there to know?

This is the step

Into the unknown

This is faith

Starting to grow

And I’m getting ready

To let it show

Sharing our inner Light

Aloha to my second new follower!

I am surprised and humbled by the feedback from my posts. I’m glad people have enjoyed the poetry and my story here on WordPress. Unfortunately, it looks like I was turned down from my rehiring at a specific job but everything happens for a reason. Right now, everything feels very touch and go with all this change that I have been experiencing.

I’d like to clarify exactly who I am and why I am so drawn to writing. To be honest, it seems writing is the only thing I can do with such ease and feel great joy from. I’ve been on a spiritual awakening since I was 19 and my life hasn’t been the same since. It’s been hard for me to find connections with others in some sense because of this.

In fact, I had a very interesting experience with the spiritual realm that I’d like to share today.

It all began when I had just gotten out of a casual relationship with someone. Unfortunately for me, I had fallen deeply in love with him and was filled with resentment about it. One night, after venting to a close friend of mine for three long hours about all the pain and confusion I felt, I begrudgingly went to sleep by the demand of my friend.

I am not sure how much time had passed when it occurred, but it was like time did not exist at all. All of a sudden, a light shone through from what seemed the middle of my forehead. I can compare it to a light at the end of a tunnel. This tiny light, surrounded by utter darkness, slowly grew and grew until it covered everything. In fact, there was no darkness to be seen anymore. Even writing about it now evokes such an interesting sensation within me. It is like describing something that is indescribable!

This light blanketed me, comforted me and inspired something within me afterwards. I can recall very acute ringing in my ears as the light grew closer and closer. The light was ethereal and somewhat golden from what I remember. After the light completely shone it self, covering all of my body it seemed, there was a loud bang that shot through my ears. I can only compare it to the sound of a gun shot being aired.

Right after that, I had shot out of bed and awoken. Completely in shock, somewhat relieved of my burdens, and curious about what it was and more.

That ethereal Light was the start of many epiphanies and now I am 24, interested even more about how I could share this Light with the world.

Since then, I’ve gotten into a plethora of self-help books like Eckhart Tolle, David R. Hawkins, and the Course in Miracles just to name a few.

Although I didn’t get the job, I am happy to remember the Truth of every seeming disaster. I’m here. I’m alive. I’m breathing.

And I’m doing what I love the most.

Writing!

~Mahalo~