Home

Home feels like

A quiet Sunday morning

The concrete after a rainy day

The hope in your heart

When opportunity strikes you

And nothing ever feels quite the same

It is the essence of Life

The very substrate!

It is the soft under belly

Of the old stray

Who gazes at you

And strides your way

Her very presence

Blessing upon your day

Home is a sort of melting

A softening of the heart

Something you keep within you

Even when your world falls apart

Home is the mountain

You climb to the tippy top

The cry of victory

The sweetness of success!

Home is a place

A feeling

A state

Home is always one call away

When the body is weary and tired of what seems like an endless search

Home beckons forth

When you need it most

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Hello, karma

Anyone else believe in karma? I do and well, it seems like I am dealing with a lot of karma right now. I like to think of karma as a “what goes around comes around” or “you get what you give” kinda thing. For example, let’s say you had a previous job where arriving late wasn’t that big of a deal. Then, you begin a new job and you continue that same pattern. Before you know it, you get fired! Now I’d call that karma. And I can especially relate to that example because it happened to me.

The funny thing about it is that I have seen many of my coworkers get fired before, and I assumed I was different, lucky even! But boy was I wrong! To be honest, looking back on my life before I established my faith in God feels like it was a totally different person. Of course, I’m still the same me, same soul and everything. But before I discovered God, I was terribly depressed, overworked and just generally stressed. But all of that occurring in my life was so essential to where I am now. I can’t dismiss any of that. It was all part of the lesson.

Whenever I sense my personal karma making an appearance again, I just take it as it is. I don’t try to complain about it to somebody or make the situation worse for myself. I just let it occur. In fact, I try to hold it in a state of grace. Holding it in a state of grace means that I let whatever situation that is bothering me to be held by a greater force than my individual self. I sense that there is a higher order in this life, and I respect that. I respect that eventually we will all get what we deserve by what we put out into the universe, and what kind of influence we consciously or unconsciously put onto others. So I don’t go out and let my silly ego have a say on it, instead, I have learned to hand it over to God.

Handing over all troubles to God means I have finally chosen to stop letting myself go crazy over something. I recognize that whatever issue I am facing will eventually, in God’s time, pass. “This too shall pass” as is commonly said. And when that karma passes, I’ve discovered that the truth eventually shines through. When I see the Truth shining through, it is a very humbling and joyous feeling.

How many times have you been in a situation where you could finally see where a person was coming from? Letting karma pass through by holding it in a state of grace is kind of like that. It is like finally understanding what a person went through after you’ve been judgmental and angry towards them. For example, when I entered my first relationship, I had no idea how to be! I was about 18 years old when it began, and I was terribly shy for the majority of my life. Beginning this relationship with him only magnified it. A lot of the time, I didn’t know what to say or do to make the relationship blossom. Him, on the other hand, was the exact opposite of me. He was happy, sociable and comfortable in his own skin. I, too, shared similar traits, but I grew aware that he was much more evolved and mature than me, so to speak. While he was active in playing sports, I had social media to entertain me. While he already had a successful previous relationship, I had none. In fact, it seemed he grew up in a much more loving atmosphere than I, which I believe played a factor too in our relationship. Add all of this up, and I felt quite inadequate.

Because of this feeling of inadequacy, I slowly grew to hate him. At the same time, I loved him as well. It was all very confusing for me. Why do we eventually begin to hate the person we loved? That was a question that puzzled me for a long time during and after the relationship.

The only answer that I’ve seemed to find is that it all boils down to the projections we make. What exactly is a projection? I’ve come to learn of projection as when we place blame or attack on others, when it is really ourselves we must take responsibility for.

For example, when I get angry at someone for something they said, I soon recognize I am projecting. Why do I recognize this is so? Because I have come to learn that everything that I experience, comes from my very own thoughts! I’ve come to recognize how powerful our thoughts are because, believe it or not, we are always communicating something whether we like it or not.

Sometimes we don’t have to do or say anything for other people to get what we’re about. And that is something that goes beyond words or just saying it. It’s something we experience on an intuitive, subjective level.

Anyways, this is most of what I have learned so far. To anyone who reads this, maybe it’ll help you out. I know it helped me. Thanks for reading.

Why I decided to create a blog

Aloha!

I am pleasantly surprised I’ve come across my first follower for this new blog. Hello, new follower! And also I am grateful for the likes on my posts, it is like a constant reassurance from the Universe that we never go through life alone! I’m happy that you guy have enjoyed it, and hopefully found something inspiring in it.

The reason for this new post is just to clarify why exactly I decided to come here on WordPress. First of all, I have always loved writing. I discovered the more I did some serious introspection, the more I discovered that sometimes our true calling begins when we are children. And ever since I was a child, I have loved to read and write.

During the summers as a middle schooler, I would write short stories and poems and silly songs in those composition books we’d use for class. I’d practically fill up the whole notebook by the end of that two-month summer. I have an older sister who is 5 years older than me, with a birthday just one day short of mine and we have always been like yin and yang for each other.

We’d hang out in my room, and I’d create stories while we’d blabber about whatever children blabber about. I’d even make stories for her, read them to her, and act them out. It was such a fun, creative, and limitless time in my childhood and I will never forget it.

So yeah, here I am! Still writing. And I am so happy I came back to it, no matter how hard and confusing my life got.

I’m happy to say that I finally secured a job and am just waiting for a call back to get rehired.

It’s an old job and you might know it!

I will be back to brewing coffee, blending Frappuccinos, and even pursuing my dream!

So… where do we go from here?

Where do we go when everything seems shit out of luck? Maybe we don’t have to “go” anywhere. Maybe we just have to accept everything as it is now. So we don’t have a job or a college degree or something reputable to hold up our self-image. Oh well. What kind of progress would we make if we cared so much about what other people think? At the end of the day, we all have to deal with ourselves, no one else. We’re allowed to feel sorry for ourselves, sure. But we can’t wallow in it forever. One day, one moment we have to wake up and make a decision. Suppose we get real quiet and focused within, we’ve analyzed everything that has occurred in the past that led up to this very moment…

“What shall I do now?”

After the crying, the contemplation, the restless nights, the anger…

We ask ourselves, what now?

Maybe the next course of action is very simple. So simple yet there’s still some resistance.

“After everything I’ve been through, am I worthy of going on? How could I ever muster up the courage? All the struggle, not feeling good enough, not feeling heard or understood, the criticism… How could I?”

Go further into the self-pity and suddenly it turns into: “What’s the point?”

So maybe we procrastinate a little just to see how far it could go. We’re allowed to have fun. So we watch television, numb ourselves to music, make unnecessary purchases. Practically anything but confront the elephant in the room. But then that nagging feeling pops up again. We can’t ignore it. Something within us is asking, begging for us to look at it.

Perhaps we haven’t uncovered everything yet. Perhaps we have to look again into what’s keeping us stuck. If we’re still looking at the past with feelings of pain and struggle, maybe we’re still missing the point. Typical logic would assume that we’d pick up the lesson by now and move on. But it takes time to learn a lesson, and to truly learn a lesson we have got to learn it correctly.

So be patient with yourself. Especially when everything seems like a dead end. There’s a gift in each day, each moment if we just look carefully. We may not be in the place we want to be, but we’re here anyway. Might as well deal with it.